Well, it finally happened. It’s been brewing for months, and now it’s time for the big announcement we’ve all been waiting for: Beyond Organic has legally filed to take over the well-known Atkins Diet brand.
You know what that means for us: new products. This is exciting stuff. Check your back office and you’ll see that we are now selling Beyond Bacon by the Pound (TM), Beyond Pork Rinds (TM), and Beyond Butter Popcorn Cakes (TM).
These products will be sold in 5-pound “Beyond Bundles” for $99 (40 PV) on a monthly autoship. Order now because quantities will be limited for this initial run.
Effective immediately, the Beyond Atkins Diet will replace the Daniel Diet, so please disregard all previously posted Daniel Diet info and concentrate on our new artery-clogging plan.
When asked for comment on why he chose to go this route, Jordan Rubin’s response was, “Hey, you know I love the Lord. I just thought I’d make a dietary change to help me meet him a little sooner.”
Well done, Jordan. Well done.
Final comments: While I know you loyal readers are smart enough to make the connection between this post and its publishing date, I’d like to pretend for just a moment that my blog has enough staying power for new readers to stumble upon this post some time in the distant future, and so to them, I will point out that today is…April Fools 🙂